Secure Your Own Oxygen Mask Before Assisting Others—Insights from Adam Lafferty

Secure Your Own Oxygen Mask Before Assisting Others—Insights from Adam Lafferty
Photo Courtesy: Adam Lafferty

By: Zach Miller

In a world of constant change, rising demands, and rapid digital transformation, self-leadership is more essential than ever. Adam Lafferty, a thought leader with nearly two decades of experience working with innovators and changemakers, offers a powerful metaphor for this concept: “Secure your own oxygen mask first before assisting others.”

Lafferty’s philosophy is rooted in balance. “We live within nested, complex systems—our communities, environments, and minds are dynamic systems that need harmony to thrive,” he explains, drawing on Dan Siegel’s work in interpersonal neurobiology. “When systems become dysregulated, they swing between rigidity and chaos.

Intervening at the Source: Your Mind as a System

Lafferty emphasizes that self-leadership starts with regulating our mental and emotional states. Just as securing your oxygen mask is crucial in an emergency, finding inner balance allows us to better support others. “The most impactful way to help those around us is by stabilizing our own mind first,” he says. “Intervening here creates the greatest effect with the least effort. When we care for ourselves, we positively influence the broader systems we’re part of.”

He notes that in times of political polarization and social unrest, it’s easy for individuals to lose their equilibrium. Yet, just like complex systems have the ability to self-organize, we have the capacity to regulate our emotions and actions. This is the essence of securing your own “oxygen mask.”

Real-World Application of Self-Leadership

Lafferty’s principles aren’t theoretical—they apply directly to daily life, especially in stressful moments. He recounts a morning when his children missed the bus, he was running on little sleep, and frustration threatened to derail his day.

“In the past, I would have reacted impulsively, escalating the situation,” he reflects. “But I recognized I was unsteady, so I took a breath, centered myself—putting on my ‘mask’ first. That small shift allowed me to respond thoughtfully, and the day unfolded without unnecessary drama.”

Self-Care as a Path to Balanced Leadership

In today’s culture, where self-care is sometimes viewed as indulgent, Lafferty reframes it as a responsibility. “When we’re in harmony, navigating the world becomes effortless,” he explains. “This clarity expands our options and leads to better decisions—the foundation of effective leadership and meaningful change.”

He stresses that cultivating self-awareness—by tuning into our thoughts, emotions, and sensations—builds integrity and coherence. “Coherence allows us to meet life’s challenges with clarity and energy, instead of reacting from a place of overwhelm or frustration.”

Leading Ourselves to Lead Others

When the best way forward seems unclear, Lafferty’s self-leadership insights offer a refreshing approach. By “securing our own oxygen masks”—caring for our mental and emotional well-being—we become more present, effective, and compassionate leaders. Whether we’re influencing our families, teams, or communities, the most powerful way to create lasting impact starts with how we lead ourselves.

As Lafferty puts it, “We’re only as good to others as we are to ourselves.”

For more insights from Adam Lafferty, visit his profiles on Disrupt Magazine, LA Wire Magazine, NY Wire

Published by: Nelly Chavez

(Ambassador)

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