By: Elina Taylor
In a world where women are often celebrated for how much they can accomplish, internationally recognized trauma healer and embodiment coach Monica Yates is exploring a more nuanced question: Who are you when you finally feel safe enough to stop doing?
Her new notable book, Becoming HER: Straight Talk for Healing, Embodying, and Radiating as Your Most Powerful Self, offers a compelling invitation to women everywhere who are tired of hustling, pleasing, and performing. And the message is resonating deeply. Yates has cultivated an international following by supporting thousands of women in releasing burnout and rediscovering their softness, strength, and soul through her H-E-R Framework™: Heal, Embody, Radiate.
At its core, Becoming HER is about unlearning. “Many of the behaviors we consider ‘normal’ may actually be deeply conditioned patterns that distance us from our feminine essence,” says Yates. “Common experiences like feeling guilty for resting, believing your success makes you more lovable, or thinking that needing your partner makes you needy—these are often learned, not innate. And they can be exhausting.”
Yates speaks from experience. Her journey began not in a therapist’s office or on a yoga mat, but in the raw, real-life trenches of emotional trauma and relentless self-pressure. Her path to healing wasn’t about achieving perfection. It was about uncovering the woman beneath layers of societal expectation. Now, she’s sharing that roadmap with others—one page, one insightful truth at a time.
The Power of Softness
Yates’ perspective on feminine energy is among her most thought-provoking contributions. In a society that often rewards hustle and independence, “feminine” has frequently been mischaracterized as weak or passive. Yates reframes this entirely.
“Feminine energy isn’t defined by how you dress or whether you meditate,” she writes. “It’s more about how safe you feel to receive, to rest, to be guided, and to experience emotions fully.”
According to Yates, feminine power can be rooted in authenticity, intuition, and nervous system safety. A woman who is deeply connected to her femininity isn’t necessarily passive—she’s often sovereign. She says no with clarity. She sets boundaries without guilt. And crucially, she honors her own cyclical needs, recognizing that power isn’t always loud, productive, or linear.
“A feminine woman can work a 10-hour day and still be in her feminine,” Yates explains. “The difference lies in joy. If your work energizes you and you can soften afterward, you’re likely in alignment. But if you’re grinding through the day and coming home resentful, that’s not alignment—that’s survival.”
Healing the Masculine Wound
Much of the work in Becoming HER focuses on healing women’s relationship with masculine energy, both within themselves and in their relationships. Yates observes that many women are stuck in hyper-independence because they’ve learned not to trust men or associate surrender with vulnerability.
This is where her work on polarity comes into play.
“Polarity can be the spark—the chemistry—that keeps relationships vibrant long after the honeymoon phase,” says Yates. “To nurture this, energetic balance is key. Feminine and masculine energies each have roles, and they tend to work effectively in harmony.”
Yates avoids promoting outdated gender roles or rigid binaries. Instead, she focuses on energetic dynamics. Many women, she suggests, operate from their masculine (control, logic, doing) all day, which may explain why they feel disconnected from their partners at night. The nervous system often reflects this tension. If it doesn’t feel safe to soften, intimacy can suffer.
“It’s challenging to expect a partner to lead if you’re unwilling to release control,” she says. “And true surrender is difficult when your body doesn’t feel safe.”
More Than a Book—A Growing Movement
What makes Becoming HER so engaging isn’t just its message. It’s Monica Yates herself. Her words are as grounded as they are inspiring. She’s not speaking from a pedestal; she’s walking alongside her readers—sharing tools, insights, and, at times, a loving nudge toward self-discovery.
With chapters that weave together science, storytelling, and personal wisdom, Yates covers topics ranging from trauma healing to sexual energy, emotional intelligence to romantic dynamics. Her language is refreshingly direct, blending compassion and conviction.
And the world is paying attention. Within days of its release, Becoming HER appeared on bestseller lists across multiple categories. Readers have described it as “transformative,” “a potential missing piece,” and “like therapy in book form.”
What Monica Yates is offering women isn’t a rigid set of rules or rituals. It’s an invitation to stop abandoning themselves for the sake of being liked, accepted, or successful. To stop living like machines and start living as HER: the woman who is clear, connected, and increasingly at home in her own skin.
At a time when burnout is commonplace and true rest can feel like rebellion, Monica Yates suggests that the real revolution begins with softness. With surrender. With safety.
And perhaps—just perhaps—that that’s exactly the kind of power the world needs now.
Monica is a respected trauma healer and embodiment coach, New York Times bestselling author, and Founder/CEO of Monica Yates Health. For the last 8 years, through somatic trauma healing and deep embodiment work, Monica has supported women in overcoming hyper-masculinity and reconnecting with their feminine energy in sustainable ways, fostering growth in all areas of their lives—business, love, family, health, and fertility. More information on Monica, her workshops, and her notable book, Becoming HER: Straight Talk for Healing, Embodying, and Radiating as Your Most Powerful Self, can be found at www.monicayateshealth.com.
Disclaimer: This article is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and does not replace professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. Individual experiences with trauma healing and embodiment coaching may vary. Readers seeking personal support should consult qualified healthcare or mental health professionals.
Published by Joseph T.
